I Need to Thank Mom

As I was sitting at the pool, waiting for my daughter to finish swim practice this past weekend I was thinking about Mother’s Day.  I heard a mom say to her child, “First, put your sunscreen on so you don’t get burned.”  It reminded me of all the things that were said to me as a kid by my Mom and how much of a leader she was to me. 

Here are 10 motherly messages that can be applied to your leadership strategies –

1. “I’m not here to be your friend; I’m here to help you grow up.”   As a leader, the primary role is to help a team succeed – if you end up with a friend in the process end then it’s a bonus.  It is hard to hold friends accountable – but if you set early expectations then, there are no mixed messages.
2. “Because it’s good for you.”  Sometimes a leader must stretch and grow their team by taking them outside of their comfort zones.  A leader’s vision sees capabilities beyond one’s own perceived limitations – and that is a very good thing.
3. “No, you’re not fat, you’re healthy.”  Sometimes, competitive pressures can deflate someone’s confidence.  A good leader knows when to point out positive attributes in light of some critical peer feedback. 
4. “You’re coming with me.”  I came along very late in my parents’ live.  My only sibling was married by the time I was four.  As a result, I was often the only child in the midst of a sea of adults at my parents’ social events.  It was great exposure for me, even if I wasn’t “participating”.  I learned a lot by observing.  It helped me feel comfortable having conversations with people of all different ages and backgrounds.  A good leader brings along team members to expose them to new experiences. Consider letting someone shadow you for the day.
5. “What do you want?”  Even though Mom had in mind what I needed, at least I had a chance to voice my opinion and we’d talk about it.  Including me in the decision making process was a much better way of getting buy with me – particularly as a teenager.  What do you do more of – asking or telling?
6. “I won’t tell your Dad.”  When we mess up, it’s great knowing that your manager is the first to forgive and isn’t ready to spread the word about your mistakes (unless it is immoral or unethical and they are required to report it).  Having a safe place to learn and grow is essential for emerging leaders.
7. “Call me first.”  There will be times when things don’t always go as planned. Having the peace of mind of knowing that you have the support you need if trouble arises helps not only manage through the issue, but prevents unnecessary guesswork if it is unchartered territory.  Most seasoned leaders have already dealt with most issues – sharing your experience in those tough times will surely minimize the impact. Who do you want your team members calling first – their peers or you?
8. “I have a surprise for you.”  It is always nice to know that someone has thought about you when you’re not around.  Maybe that surprise could be a raise, new project to work on, a mentor they’ve been seeking – be creative and surprise someone. They will likely surprise you with their response.
9. “Because I said so.” Sometimes corporate decisions need to be made and supported across the board without discussion or reasoning.  There are times when there are issues outside the realm of public knowledge and they just need to be accepted.  Having a leader who consistently fosters trust will gain buy in much more easily than someone who doesn’t.  
10. “It hurts me too.”  No one likes to deliver bad news. Progressive discipline is a way to help someone either find their way or find the door.  Either way, it is as painful for the leader as it is for the teammate – protecting the individual’s dignity helps everyone get through the process swiftly.  When the outcome is positive and the correction effort is successful, they will recognize the “tough love” you gave as a gift.

Thanks, Mom – for setting your leadership example.

Lori

I Need 10,000 Hours

Think of the most successful person you know. They’re probably talented, intelligent, and charming. But you may not notice how lucky they are.

Malcolm Gladwell, author of Outliers, uses examples like Bill Gates, creator of Microsoft, Tiger Woods and the Beatles to dispel myths of success. The misconception that being successful relies solely on your gift or talent is invalidated time and time again, and the answers that emerge instead are far more intriguing, complex, and elegant.

Gladwell unravels the idea that successes and failures are totally within us.  It makes sense that we ultimately own resposibility for those outcomes but Gladwell proves that external factors shape our thinking, provide the  opportunities and impact our actions so much that it’s impossible to say you did it all by yourself. Things like parents’ education level, birth place,  residence/living location, and where ancestors 400 years ago lived all have an effect on how the successful get where they are. It’s striking and shocking but the evidence is irrefutable. Random opportunities, blind luck, outside influences, and talent all combine and what materializes as success.

The good news – you can control your success. Hard work is a major component. One of the most powerful arguments Gladwell makes is that it takes 10,000 hours of practice to achieve true greatness. 10,000 hours is a ridiculous amount of time and is almost impossible to reach by yourself. The only way to achieve that kind of practice is through a special program or unique opportunity that will allow you to work that hard for that long. “Practice isn’t the thing you do once you’re good. It’s the thing you do that makes you good.”(Gladwell, p. 42)

Another wonderful facet to Outliersis how extraordinarily well written it is. Not only are the points gracefully and humorously proven, but the people and places used to support his theories are wonderfully depicted. Even though the characters aren’t the central points of the book, they become three dimensional and I found myself engrossed in their life stories just as much, if not more, as in the unique concepts of success.

I would highly recommend Outliers to anybody trying to reach the top rung of the ladder. As a warning, this book is not a how to guide to becoming the next millionaire or star athlete or rock star. But your new outlook on success and life will make the journey to the top seem much less daunting.